Inner to Outer

November 28, 2009

Kathy Jourdain is a good friend and colleague in Nova Scotia. This morning we were on a call working the next level of an invitation for an event next year. Kathy is a great colleague. Our work together feels easy. It always begins with delightful invitation to just share what we are noticing in our lives, what has our attention. Inevitably, that sharing creates just the right doorway into the work we've agreed to do.

This morning the gift of insight was about the sweet spot of developing the individual and how the individual is developed in the context of the group. These are not new theories of change. What I found helpful in the individual was clarifying the working assumption that there is an inner _____ in all of us. In our case we were talking about Shaman. However, it could just as easily be an inner artist or an inner tyrant. The implication is that if we give attention to the inner _____, there will likely be a re-relationing of what is, rather than something that is entirely absent. To develop the individual starts by working with something that is already there.

The second part of this discussions was that the individual is fed by the group. There is more that becomes available to the individual just because of being in the group. The field feeds the individual. For example, if I were to go to a writers workshop, just being amongst other writers would improve the realm of what is possible to me as an individual. Coaching would be good. And, the field itself would help. I was trying to think of a farming metaphor. I used to grow corn in the back yard garden. The first year was an experiment. A short row. Ten stalks. The corn was very poor. Small ears. I was told by my wife's grandfather that corn must be planted in bigger fields to grow well. I don't fully remember the reason why. But the field of corn made each stalk more hearty.

Also germane to this conversation, given we were talking about not wanting to create a personal retreat workshop was the difference between group therapy and group wellness. An outcome of so many of the workshops I do is a sense of wellness. I and my colleague don't advertise it that way. It is an outcome though. People say it feels like therapy because that is the label that most know for that kind of experience. Yet, there is a deliberate lack of attention on fixing anything. Rather, there is simple witnessing in a group context of experiences that impact us. And there is simple invitation to create together. In the combination of those two, group wellness emerges. It is quite a beautiful thing.

Thanks to Kathy and the space in the middle that fed these insights.