Questions for Life -- Do I Say Yes Loud Enough?

July 23, 2008

From Sarah Whitely in Greece, in an email thread started by Bob Stilger. All friends. I share it here because there are many journies like this. Some are in leadership. Some in relationship. Some in life. Much to learn, I sense here.

What rises in me too is: Do I say YES loud enough, strong enough – from the deep source that calls me to my Full Self, in every single moment? How can I ask for anything – unless I ask it of myself also...Am I emboldened to move forward into the space where the path becomes less defined – and yet, I know I am led at the same time. Do I trust Life?

My reponse...

I am sitting next to my boy Isaac, who turned 11 yesterday. He is beginning to wake. I’m beside him, well, because I want to be. Perhaps need to be.

I feel these questions in me and in a very deep way. I feel aware that my answers five years ago were different. Even five months or five days ago. In each of those moments, I felt the edge of my presence. I can feel the life journey aspect of these questions. Now seeing that the edge of those times has become something new now.

I have felt so often the stepping off in my life. And just when I think I’ve got it, the next level of stepping off, or maybe stepping in shows up that awakens me again to the tremble. Sarah, you have spoken these words and questions that are so spot on for me in this moment. Bob, you have asked these questions that call me and others to a deliberateness of noticing and learning from there.

I am at a point where I feel the way of not knowing. I feel my stomach turning. I feel the “what if I’m just crazy and making it up?” Somewhere in that, I also find the simple truth – these are things to journey in with companions.

Love to all of you. Love for this boy beside me and the love he awakens in me. Gratitude for the path we are on that finds us together in many ways.